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We Don't Deserve Women


We are extremely sorry Asifa, we have despicably failed you.

As the horrific case of rape and brutal murder of 8 year old Asifa shook the nation, it seems like we still haven't learnt shit since the Nirbhaya incident. The situation is so miserable that if you read the newspaper there are incidents of rapes and sexual harassment against women, almost every other day. It's all so disgusting that it just breaks you down and makes one's blood friggin' curdle with anger. The worst thing is that politicians are trying to roast their political bread over this. Also, some are out there giving a religious twist to this whole thing. And it just goes on to show our stoic indifference towards an issue of such appalling nature. From being known as the land of snake-charmers to being known as the land of rapists, we have come a long way indeed!

Now, we've been plagued by this matter of violence and injustice against women since aeons. It's not a new thing. Right from the practice of Sati, it is quite evident how our society was biased against women. As Indians, we are always proudly talking about our culture and tradition. Of course we have an incredible culture but you got to admit that when it comes to empowering women and caring about their rights, we have always sort of shied away from that.

Why do crimes of such atrocious nature happen against women? You might wonder what goes on inside the minds of these demons under the garb of humans, who commit such horrible acts. And who's to blame for all of this?

You can blame our clumsy judicial system here but that's not the root cause of this issue. The question here is, why do rapes happen in the first place?

Now, I believe our so called 'culture and tradition' is at fault here. Yes. This may be an unpopular notion but just hear me out for once.

Growing up you might have heard the phrase, "Kya ladki ki tarah ro rha hai?", umpteen times.
Maybe as kids while you're crying because someone stole your candy, your elders might have tried to console you with it or perhaps after your break up, your friends might have thrown that phrase in your face to get you to stop whining. Now a generation that is taught that being vulnerable and weeping over it is an act of cowardice, we have just unknowingly imbibed a terribly wrong idea of masculinity in the minds of boys/men.

Right from the abolished practice of Sati to the practice of dowry. Be it the sickening cases of female foeticides or cases of rapes and murders of minors. We're just glorifying the idea that women are to be treated as the the inferior gender.
The other thing is our self-righteousness and a rather puritan notion about sex. For us, sex education is just two flowers intermingling with each other with some fuckall music in the background.

So if we think rationally and a bit logically, what we have got here is a generation whose flawed idea of masculinity is that you need to be strong and overpowering to justify your presence as the superior sex, the alpha male as we call it. A patriarchal nation that thinks women are just meant to get married and then look after the household and the children eventually. A conservative society that considers sex as a taboo and is also sexually repressed. And lastly, a lethargic judicial system when it comes to delivering timely justice. Now you don't need to be Nikola Tesla to deduce that it's a dangerous concoction.

Now as usual, we can all go about outraging over this on the internet and social media. We could go about participating in candle light marches and pray for the soul of unfortunate Asifa. But in my opinion, that won't solve shit. We'll eventually forget about it like we always do. The problem is deep rooted within our society and our mindset. It seems our perception of women is collaterally damaged beyond repair.

We need to god damn understand that it's not because of the way she dresses. It's not because she uses a mobile phone. It's not  because she drinks alcohol and parties. It's not because she's dented and painted. It's not because she wears jeans and make-up. It's also not because she interacts with men freely. And yes, it's not just another mistake committed by boys. It's NEVER a mistake.

I believe it's because we're prejudiced. It's because we'll pay dowry and slaughter fetuses in the womb just to satisfy the relentless machismo of our patriarchal and orthodox society. It's because we'll ask our daughters/sisters to dress appropriately rather than to teach our sons/brothers to behave appropriately. It's because we'll ask women not to venture outdoors at night instead of asking men not to harass women and teaching them the meaning of consent. It's because we'll go on teaching our women how to defend themselves rather than educating our men that women are not to be raped.

Believe it or not, we have fucked up big time here.  Maybe we need to start all over again. It's high time we alter our mindset towards women and learn to treat them with respect. Or perhaps we just don't deserve women.
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