Shit Indian Politicians Say!

11:17 am

Just the other day, I was watching Times Now and as usual Arnab was in super saiyyan mode, nailing some random politician for his absurd comment on rapes happening in India. Well. that's not surprising, Arnab does this feat almost everyday, but the surprising thing is, the shit some of these Indian politicians say.

P.S : This guy's statements are not posted here, as it's mentally hazardous for the readers.

Indian Politicians are well known worldwide, for their stupid comments on various things! Let's take a look at some of these classic statements!


"I thought it was juice."~ Murli Manohar Joshi.
(Ex- HRD Minister, after he drank ferrous sulphate solution in a school science fair and later ended up in a hospital!)

*facepalm* Now what can I say? He thought it was juice, so be it! :D

“Boys and girls should be married by the time they turn 16, so that they do not stray… this will decrease the incidents of rape” ~ Sube Singh.
(Khap Panchayat leader, on rapes)

Yeah. After failed attempts to invent time machines, this guy suggested an alternative to travel back in time. Back when child marriages were considered 'cool'
And what's this thing about straying? What are we? Dogs?

“There is this person sitting on hunger strike for 55 days demanding water be released from the dam. But where are we going to get water from? Should we urinate? And when we are not getting water to drink even urine is not coming easily” ~Ajit Pawar.
(Ex Deputy CM of Maharashtra)

We Indians have a habit of urinating wherever there's a possibility. After this idiotic staement, Mr. Ajit Pawar urinated on his future political career.

"Those who are coming in the name of students in the rallies, sundori, sundori mahila (beautiful women), are highly dented and painted" ~ Abhijeet Mukherjee
 (Son of President Pranab Mukherjee, commenting on women (students) who participate in candle light marches to protest rapes.)

*Slow Claps* Dented and Painted? They're women, not cars Mr. Mukherjee. That was way too cheap for a statement coming from President's son.

"If there is electricity in every village, people will watch TV till late night and then fall asleep. They won’t get a chance to produce children. When there is no electricity, there is nothing else to do but produce babies"  ~ Gulam Nabi Azad.
(Ex Health Minister, on population control and electricity problem in villages.)

No comments. Mind fucked. -_-

"10 out of 7 youths in Punjab are hooked on to drugs" ~ Rahul Gandhi
(Congress Vice President) 

Someone please teach this guy basic mathematics or anything other than women empowerment.

"600 bucks per month are enough to feed a family of 5"  ~ Sheila Dikshit
(Ex CM of Delhi)

It doesn't mean you can speak shit, if there's 'shit' in your name. But this lady justified it. 600 per month, that means approximately 4 bucks per day, for each person in a family of 5. What will we eat? Even Maggi costs for 5 bucks.

There are many shit statements, which our politicians have made, but nothing. I repeat. Nothing beats this one. Vishwa Bandhu Gupta, an Ex IT(Income Tax here, also the guy is UPSC qualified!) commissioner, trying to explain what cloud computing concept is all about. All computer engineers would kill themselves after watching this video. I literally cried while laughing. Oxymoronic emotions! :'D



*Drumroll* 
In case the video isn't playing on mobile devices, here's the link, please do watch this! This guy is epic. Just epic. : Vishwa Bandhu Gupta explains Cloud Computing!

That's it folks, I've not been able to publish many of the classics here and missed out many such foolish brainless statements, as I've time limitations. Feel free to express your thoughts on this article. And do check out The Imbecility Of Indian Daily Soaps , my previous satire, as I'd not publicised that article due to my short term social hibernation. And Thank You, for reading this! Till then, Adios! :)

{References and credits: Google and Youtube! :)}


 

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