'Offendomania Fever' Grips India, High Alert Declared!

2:00 pm

People getting tested for the deadly McBc virus.

India: The deadly Offendomania Fever(McBc Virus) , has gripped India recently with the toll of people infected rising upto a whooping 983647. A large number are people getting offended nowadays, reported our correspondents.

            In the wake of the rise in number of McBc cases, the authorities have stepped up surveillance and measures to combat the massive spread of the disease. 4513 out of the 78463 samples sent to Bakchod Centre Of Virus Research, were confirmed to be badly affected by McBc.

            Dr. Amar, the directorate of Bakchod Centre Of Virus Research told our reporters that McBc virus has much higher risk of causing severe anger, frustration and even violent behaviour in people that are infected with this virus. He said  "Its a serious matter of concern. This virus is spreading rapidly all over India. The affected people are somewhat responsible for it, as it is a contagious disease. Also there are some people who are helping to spread this virus, just for the sake of fun. Our researchers are still trying to find its cure"

            The Bakchod Centre Of Virus has issued the following guidelines and symptoms to watch out for, in the affected person:

  • Gets offended easily by almost every joke, troll, meme etc, which goes against his beliefs or ideologies. 
  •  Frequent outbursts of anger, upon getting offended
  • Person turns violent upon reaching the peak of getting offended and starts causing destruction of surrounding environment and life. (195 degree angro, when measured with the anger meter invented by Bakchod Centre Of Virus Research) [Click Here To Order The Newly Invented Anger Meter]
  • The last stage of the disease could even result in affected people triggering riots, causing destruction of public property, harming the peace & harmony of their surroundings and other nefarious activities.   
The following are the measures people should take to protect themselves from this deadly virus to affect them:
  • Unaffected people should think nearly about 99999 times before posting any joke, troll, meme or posting some sensitive stuff which could hurt anyone's sentiments, on the internet or anywhere.
  • Should stop justifying of right to freedom of speech.
  • Should NEVER offend anyone.
  • Should act like they are living in the Paleolithic Era and don't know what a joke, troll, meme or internet is.     
 "We have given directions to the Police Department to immediately start the treatment measures for the people in high risk category and to crack down the people spreading the virus just for fun." said Mr. Amar, while cases of violence in Pune and some parts of Maharashtra were reported by our correspondents.
       
[Above article is purely imaginary and does not bear any resemblance with reality. If so, it's purely co-incidental.
And I'd also like to thank you all for the amazing response you gave for my previous blog article! You are the best!*Drumroll**Digi Chiki Digi Chiki Dhisshh**Cries with happiness* :’). 

Thank You, for reading this piece of shit and wasting your precious time! Your comments and criticisms are always welcome. I've tried my best to add humour to it, instead of this article being on a serious note
Last but not the least! DON'T GET OFFENDED AFTER READING THIS! :)]

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